Parenting a middle schooler can be one of the most frightening, exciting, frustrating, joyous things in life. Middle school-aged children experience so many changes that it is sometimes difficult to keep up - for the child and the parent! Author Rachel Vail penned a reminder for us all last week about how to best love a middle schooler. Her list is titled Top 15 Things Your Middle School Kid Wishes You Knew. 

Here are the Five Points of Focus for parents:

1. Support. Ask your middle schooler to teach you about what he/she is learning or what he/she is good at. "I have to be a beginner constantly. Show me it's OK to stay relaxed and present when you are struggling to learn something."
2. Smile! Your middle schooler still wants to have fun with you and needs to feel that home is safe and happy. 
3. Listen. Let your middle schooler make some of his/her own choices and mistakes. "Don't do my work for me or get me out of every jam...Don't condescend." Wait for him/her to ask for help.
4. Believe. Trust that your middle schooler will do his/her work. "If I don't, you can help me manage my time, but wait until I'm not taking care of responsibilities to think I can't." 
5. Encourage. Let your middle schooler know that you think he/she is funny, interesting, or awesome. "I actually do care what you think about me. Please find something specific you actually like about me because sometimes I can't find anything in myself to like at all."

Kindness is contagious...many of us have heard this before. In observing children who are kind, we often see parents who have made kindness a "rule" in their families. Kindness is just who these families are and what they're about. They believe all people are good (unless proven otherwise). They help those less fortunate. They do nice things for others because it’s the right thing to do.

If kindness doesn't come naturally to our own children, what can we do to instill it?

Five Ways to Inspire Kindness in Children

1. Model Kindness — If adults aren’t demonstrating kindness in difficult situations how can we expect children to do the same? This means with words and actions. At all times.
2. Celebrate Kind Deeds — Children have to know what kindness means. It’s not enough to tell them to be nice - point out their moments of being nice and praise them.
3. Discuss Kindness – When children recognize others being kind, they are more likely to be kind as well.
4. Speak Love – Make the language of your family that of peace and joy rather than anger and hate.
5. Talk About Differences — The best way to help children be more kind to each other is to help them understand how people are different. Talk about what makes everyone valuable no matter who they are. Regardless of circumstances or situation, being respectful is crucial.

How do you inspire kindness?

Adapted from Abundant Mama blog.

How important is innovation? Martinsville-Henry County's new Innovate MHC program and Henry County Public Schools' staff read Creating Innovators: The Making of Young People Who Will Change the World (by Dr. Tony Wagoner) assert that innovation is the foundation for progress and success. Wagoner feels that "our country has produced innovators more by accident than by design" and that we, as parents, should develop the talents and encourage the aspirations of our children.

So what would it mean if we were to intentionally develop the entrepreneurial and innovative talents of all young people - to nurture their initiative, curiosity, imagination, creativity, and collaborative skills, as well as their analytical abilities - along with essential qualities of character such as persistence, empathy, and a strong moral foundation? (Wagoner)

Where do we start?

Five Things Adults Can Do to Encourage Innovative Children

1. Encourage Play: Children naturally know how to play and typically enjoy playing. Adults can encourage children to play creatively and devise their own entertainment.
2. Encourage Passion: Children are naturally excited about the things they love. Adults can encourage children to explore their passions and develop their interests.
3. Encourage Purpose: Children often develop a sense of purpose, or desire to "make a difference," on their own. Adults can help devise methods for children to carry out their personal purpose(s) within the community.
4. Encourage Practice: Children need time to explore, experiment, and discover methods for carrying out their ideas. Adults can manage schedules in a manner that allows children to play and pursue their passions.
5. Encourage Possibilities (risk taking): Children often mirror the mannerisms of those around them. Adults can demonstrate the acceptability of exploring possibilities and taking risks - and talk about what they learn from both successes and failures.

Interested in learning more? Talk with your child's teacher about his/her staff read and about sharing Creating Innovators with your parent group!

Checking for Progress
Today marks the beginning of week four of the 2014-2015 school year. High school students will bring home interim reports this week and elementary and middle school students will bring interim reports home next week. The purpose of the interim report is to chart the student's progress in a class. As parents, we need to be sure to ask the right questions about progress throughout the year.

5 Questions to Begin a Discussion with Your Child 

on Progress in School

1. What do you know now that you didn't know three weeks ago?
2. What is easy/difficult for you in this class?
3. What do you want to know more about or know how to do better in this class?
4. How can we work together to practice what you're learning?
5. How can we work together to be sure that you feel confident about what you're studying?

Want to discuss your student's progress with his/her teacher? Read these tips from Lani Harac about keeping in touch all year long:
http://www.schoolfamily.com/school-family-articles/article/728-talking-with-teachers-about-student-progress