Spending Time with Our Kids Makes No Difference?

As American parents work to devise ways to spend more time with their children - and feel guilty about whether that time is enough,  a recent study published in the Journal of Marriage and Family suggests that the amount of time parents spend with their children has little influence on who the child becomes. 

Working mothers today spend equal amounts of time with their children as at-home moms did in the 1970s, but researchers found that mothers who spend time with their children when they are stressed affect their children negatively. 

Melissa Milkie, one of the study's authors and a sociologist at University of Toronto, says, "“I could literally show you 20 charts, and 19 of them would show no relationship between the amount of parents’ time and children’s outcomes." The study found positive associations for teens who spent an average of six hours a week engaged in family time with the parents. “So these are not huge amounts of time,” Milkie said.

Here's what Five Experts say on the topic:
1."That’s not to say that parent time isn’t important. Plenty of studies have shown links between quality parent time — such as reading to a child, sharing meals, talking with them or otherwise engaging with them one-on-one — and positive outcomes for kids. The same is true for parents’ warmth and sensitivity toward their children. It’s just that the quantity of time doesn’t appear to matter." Brigid Schulte (Washington Post family writer).2. "Research does show that in highly stressed urban environments, having involved parents and even strict parents is associated with less delinquent behavior," child and adolescent psychiatrist at Georgetown University Medical Center Matthew Biel said.
3. Amy Hsin, Queens College sociologist says that parents who spend the bulk of their time with children under 6 watching TV or doing nothing can actually have a “detrimental” effect on them. 
4. The American Academy of Pediatrics emphasizes that "children also need unstructured time to themselves without the engagement of parents for social and cognitive development."
5. Jennifer Senior (“All Joy and No Fun” author) attributed parent guilt to a nostalgia for the past and a continuing ambivalence about working mothers. “Perhaps if you were part of a culture that actually felt less ambivalent about mothers working, and had a system of child care in place where it was okay for mothers to work, I think you would automatically feel less guilt and pressure to spend more time with kids,” she said.

What do you think?

Did this sign show up in your social media feed this week? Spring sports are in full swing - are our sportsmanship manners? "Good sportsmanship is about playing by the rules, discipline, respect, and self control. A good sport has fun because they enjoy playing the game more than the final outcome." (fpsports.org)

As we enjoy cheering for our favorite student athletes from the stands, let's encourage them to not only be good at their sport(s), but good sports as well. In encouraging your student athlete this week, share these

Five Tips for Being a Good Sport

1. Respect not only your teammates, but also your opponents. They worked hard to earn spots on their teams and are working hard on the field.
2. Respect your coaches and the officials of the game. They are present to guide you to becoming a better player.
3. Accept the judgment calls of the coaches and the officials without argument. While they can't see everything that takes place on the field, they are being as fair as possible...and most of them are unpaid volunteers who are present because they love the game as much as you do.
4. Offer encouragement to teammates, especially when they make mistakes. The best way to become better is to know that it's OK to make mistakes.
5. Lose without pouting and win without gloating. 

Enjoy the game this week!

 

Are your children using Yik Yak? 

“The Yik Yak app is the most dangerous form of social media I've ever seen,” says psychiatrist Dr. Keith Ablow. Commentators are divided as to the true danger of Yik Yak for children, but there are 

Five Things Parents Need to Know about the app:

1. Created for adults by fraternity brothers Tyler Droll and Brooks Buffington, Yik Yak is essentially a location-based, anonymous chat room app that does not require a login or registration. 
2. "Some of the comments left on Yik Yak are harmless and silly adolescent fun. But, just as we've witnessed on social media sites, a few could be hateful, harassing, sexually explicit and harmful," says Dale Archer of Psychology Today. 
3. "The nature of anonymity emboldens the user to post words and photos they would not say or show someone in person and it's much easier to insult another when you don't have to do it to their face. Social media allows hurtful words and unflattering photos to be posted without a moment's thought. Now it's even easier," says Archer.
4. Users themselves can control what's hot and what's not. If a post is good, users can up vote it—the equivalent of LIKE on Facebook or "favorite" on Twitter. If something is repulsive, mean or juvenile, then users down vote it. With 5 down votes, the comments are removed forever. In this way, the community of participants police themselves.
5. Parents need to monitor their children's social media interactions. According to Justin Patching of the Cyberbullying Research Center, "Cyberbullying is already a huge problem today and the last thing we need is an anonymous app that allows one to do that. Soon Facebook, Twitter and other social medias will be the least of our worries when it comes to cyberbullying and suicide." 

Break out the Bongos!

March 2015 marks the 30th anniversary of Music in Our Schools month. While there will be celebrations and recognition in schools this month, what are we doing to foster an appreciation for music at home? Just like reading together encourages our children to love reading and the art of storytelling, sharing music encourages a love for the art.

We don't mean you have to take up an instrument together or hold "family jam sessions." Sometimes singing along with the radio is all you need. We don't always recognize this as therapeutic, but the fun associated with music is often beneficial to all members of the family. According to Jennifer Cerbasi, "Music therapy has proven to have some success among children with disabilities, as well. Children are drawn to the rhythm of the instruments and many find a way to communicate and open themselves up by singing or playing an instrument."So how do we incorporate music into our children's daily lives?

Five Ways to Share Music Fun with Kids

1. Talk with your child about how sound is made and make instruments that demonstrate the concept. Need some inspiration? Check out this comprehensive list of DIY instrument instructions.
2. Have a more tech savvy child? Put his/her iPad to use and create music using some of these apps for learning music.
3. Want to teach them some of the fundamentals of music? Start with symbols, notes, and sounds. Use these flash cards to help them internalize the meaning.
4. Incorporate your child's love of math and science with this music/math experiment or these multiplication songs.
5. Have an old-fashioned sing along/dance party with your child's favorite movie or album. The fact is, once you've danced and sang together, you'll all have fun and end up happy.

Treat Allergies with the Allergen?

One of the scariest things a parent or caregiver can experience is a child's severe allergic reaction. In the March 9 edition of Time Magazine, Alice Park discusses the New England Journal of Medicine study that found that "both allergic and nonallergic infants who ate small amounts of peanuts had a much lower rate of allergy than those who avoided nuts altogether for five years."

Many medical groups no longer instruct parents to avoid giving babies nuts...but is it really possible to prevent the allergy? Park suggests that "the best medicine for peanut allergies may, in fact, be nuts themselves."

Five Things You Need to Know About This Study
1. The average age of allergy onset is 18 months.
2. There are currently three times more peanut allergies than there were in 1997.
3. Researchers assert that there is an 86% lower allergy risk when infants ate peanuts.
4. Park shares the researchers' assertion that exposing kids to possible trigger foods may be wiser than avoidance.
5. The key is to start early. There have been no conclusive trials with older children or adults.

The same issue of Time also alludes to another allergy-based study: "Washing Dishes by Hand Leads to Fewer Allergies." "Evidence is mounting that getting a little dirty does the body good. This study suggests it's possible that eating off hand-washed dishes means kids get more bacteria exposure and build stronger immune systems, leading to fewer allergies."

Is this a potentially revolutionary protocol shift for families dealing with allergies or a risky chance parents aren't willing to take? We'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic.

We woke up to snow flurries this morning and the promise of the accumulation of several inches of snow as the day goes on. As you prepare to enjoy a snow day (or two) with your children, here are 

 Five Important Snow Day Rules

courtesy of Parents Magazine

1. Dress for Visibility. Be sure everyone is wearing bright colors and/or reflective materials before going out to enjoy the snow. Slippery road and bright snow or midwinter gloom can cause visibility problems. Read the research on this phenomena here.
2. Protect Their Skin. Just because you're not out at the swimming pool doesn't mean that you're safe from sun damage. Snow reflects 80% of UV rays, which can cause a bad burn if unprotected skin is exposed for prolonged periods. Use a water-proof sunscreen and SPF lip balm in addition to sunglasses while building your snow man or ice fort.
3. Prevent Frostbite. Frostbite is a dangerous effect of prolonged exposure to cold. Children should go back inside if they notice pain, decreased sensation, tingling, or numbness (the tell-tale frostbite blister is often a sign that damage has already been done). Dr. Holly Benjamin recommends using the acronym C.O.L.D:
C - Cover hotspots with a hat and gloves or mittens to preserve heat.
O - Avoid overexertion. Bring kids in for periodic breaks.
L - Layers. Think loose-fitting, lightweight, and water-repellent.
D - Stay dry. If kids are sweating profusely or get snow in their shoes or boots, change them into dry clothes, socks, and foot gear immediately.
4. Push Fluids. It's especially difficult to gauge hydration needs during the winter (cold temperatures actually alter thirst sensation). We lose a great deal of water breathing outside in chilly air, which dries us out even more. Encourage water and other fluids throughout the day.
5. Take a Breather. Cold, dry air can be problematic for children who suffer from asthma. "Just as the cold dries and chaps your hands, it can also be drying to the lungs, causing tightening of the bronchial muscles," says Amy Burack. Pull a neck warmer over the mouth to warm the air before it's inhaled and monitor children for shortness of breath, wheezing, dizziness, or chest pain. Should these signs occur, treat with moist heat (like a warm shower or a cup of hot cocoa).

Have you completed the FAFSA yet?

The FAFSA is a form parents should complete each year for children going to and in college. "Federal Student Aid, a part of the U.S. Department of Education, is the largest provider of student financial aid in the nation. At the office of Federal Student Aid, 1,200 employees help make college education possible for every dedicated mind by providing more than $150 billion in federal grants, loans, and work-study funds each year to more than 13 million students paying for college or career school." (https://studentaid.ed.gov/about) 

Five Things to Remember about FAFSA:
1. FAFSA is free. There are sites out there that mimic the FAFSA site, but they require a fee. FAFSA is all about FREE student aid.
2. There are deadlines. Be sure to file your taxes early and complete the FAFSA by the stated deadlines. 
3. You can file early. Even if you haven't filed taxes for this year, you can complete the FAFSA based on last year's taxes and then update once you have filed the current year's tax returns.
4. Don't fall for the myths. ALL students attending college should file regardless of financial status EACH year the student will be attending college.
5. FAFSA isn't just for federal aid. "Many states and colleges use your FAFSA information to determine your eligibility for state and school aid, and some private financial aid providers may use your FAFSA information to determine whether you qualify for their aid." (https://fafsa.ed.gov/help.htm)

Learn more about FAFSA here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FAFSA

Get started today by filing on-line at https://fafsa.ed.gov/index.htm

The power and responsibility of social media

Several articles about students and social media have been in the forefront lately. Blogger/author/mom Lysa Terkeurst recently offered advice to adults who are active online based on her reading of Karen Ehman's work regarding social media presence and interaction. In a USAToday article, Marymount University coach Brandon Chambers is quoted for tweeting this on August 25, 2014: "Never let a 140 character tweet cost you a $140,000 scholarship." 

Colleges and employers are reviewing students' social media accounts. Are we ensuring that our students are representing themselves appropriately online?

Five Suggestions for Students Who Use Social Media

1. Pause before you post. Think about the message you're sending and how it reflects on you and the subject of the post. Nothing is ever truly private online and posting is instantaneous.
2. Imagine the audience sitting with you. Would you say the same things you're about to type if the person were sitting in the room with you? If all of your followers and FB friends were in the room?
3. Remember: When you're on-line, you're also on stage. Online words are available for others to see. If you say something in person and later realize your error, you can go back apologize. However, something posted on social media is archived - it can be retracted/taken down, but there is no way to find all of the people who might have seen the original comment...and it can sometimes be found again.
4. Ask yourself if you have the right to speak on the subject. Do you have expertise in the area about which you are commenting? Do you have proof to verify your assertions?
5. If you retweet it or share it, you own it. And the consequences of it.

Social media provides excellent opportunities for interaction, sharing and learning. It is causing more people to read and write more often than they ever have in the past. The benefits - and the responsibilities - are innumerable.

Getting Rid of Clutter

After a holiday hiatus, we are back and ready for an exciting new year! Now that the decorations have been stored away, everyone has enjoyed time with family and friends, and we've made a few resolutions to make 2015 one of the best years yet, it's time to start putting those resolutions into action. Many families resolve to declutter their homes at the beginning of the year, but getting started can be an overwhelming and daunting thought.

Getting everyone in the family on board is one of the first steps. Setting goals together can also be a useful way to motivate the family (Do we want to repurpose a space? Do we want to redecorate? Do we want to make room for something new?).

Thankfully, there are many helpful resources on decluttering available to help us plan. Depending on your organizational style and time designated for the project, one of these Five Resources for a Decluttering Plan of Attack 

may be helpful to your family:

1. Blogger and author Jen Hatmaker took on a project in 2012 to eliminate excess from her family's life. In her book on the experience, she details her family's journey to "fight back against the modern-day diseases of greed, materialism, and overindulgence." Our take on this project included getting rid of seven items each day for a month. Think it can't be done? Challenge your family to give it a try!
2. Parents Magazine (Parents.com) provides a day-by-day guide for Conquer[ing] Clutter in 31 Days this month. Our take on this project is actually happening in bursts due to time and we've been pleasantly surprised at how manageable it is to actually accomplish several of the suggestions in one day.
3. Blogger Joshua Becker offers a variety of challenges that could be issued within the home to motivate family members to declutter. Our favorites include the 5 Minute challenge, the 12-12-12 challenge, and the Fill 1 Trash Bag challenge.
4. Real Simple's Stephanie Sisco appeared on Today Show recently to offer some tips to Purge the Clutter as well. We like her suggestion to move through one area/category at a time, which makes the big task much more manageable for children.
5. Organized 101 shares strategies for Staying Clutter-Free once we've tackled the job of removing items we no longer need. Their ideas for building good habits will help our families stay clutter free this year...we're committing to establishing clutter preserves for a start.

Let us know if you have helpful decluttering strategies to share!

The School Improvement Network's featured Strategy of the Week last week was on maintaining discipline. The author stated, "There’s no magic wand for helping [children] maintain discipline...And if you think about it, such a magic wand would probably do more harm than good. Effective discipline is less about keeping [children] in line and more about helping [them] understand their behavior, their priorities, and the value of their relationship with you."

It has often been said that discipline is really more about self control and making wise choices. Our job as parents is to guide children in their journey to making wise choices - and to allow them to experience both the positive and negative consequences of the choices they make. "Rather than being methods of control or punishment, they should be seen as learning opportunities that help students understand the relationship of behavior and outcomes." (SRI)

 

Five Key Ideas About Consequences 

from School Reform Initiative

1. There are no punishments, just consequences
Punishments don’t teach the truly valuable lessons, especially when they demean, demoralize, or shame. On the other hand, if we keep in mind that we’re providing consequences, it’s easier to approach every step of discipline as a learning experience.
2. Consequences are used as a pause to get our [children's] attention
Sometimes a quiet conversation is all it takes to get a child’s attention. Other times, it takes a more severe consequence. Either way, a consequence should serve to give a child a pause to reflect on his/her choices.
3. Consequences should be organized in a tiered hierarchy
Use a hierarchy of consequences, starting with the mildest first. Then slowly and calmly increase the consequences as necessary, stopping with the first one that gives the child the pause you’re seeking.
4. We have no control over our [children]
It’s important to remember that, ultimately, we have no control over our children and following the rules is their decision to make. Yes, we have the power of suggestion. Yes, we can influence decisions with our voice, our tone, the redirection strategies we employ, and the consequences that follow. But, in the end, the decision is theirs. The deeper our respect for this, the easier it is for us to remain calm and supportive in moments when we might wish we had more control.
5. Consequences teach students that they have the power of choice
When your consequences provide children an opportunity to pause and reflect, it affirms to them that they have the power of choice. They become aware that how they choose to behave determines the consequences (good or bad) that follow. They have the choice to misbehave, accept consequences, and calm down. Or, they have the choice to abide by rules and experience the positive consequences.

How do you feel about these ideas? What might you add to or alter in this list?

It's #AmericanEducationWeek!

"American Education Week—November 17-21, presents a wonderful opportunity to celebrate public education and honor individuals who are making a difference in ensuring that every child receives a quality education." (NEA Today)

2014 marks 93 years of American Education Week, an annual observance that honors students, teachers, support professionals, parents, and community members who help students succeed.

"AEW was born out of national concern over illiteracy and was first celebrated in 1921 with NEA and the American Legion as cosponsors. Events take place the week before Thanksgiving and are designed to honor the hard work of students, recognize the professionalism and commitment of educators, and appreciate parents and community members who work toward quality public schools for every student." (National Education Association)

Read President Obama's Proclamation.

So what do we do about it? Here are 

Five Ways to Celebrate American Education Week:

1. Send a thank you note to a teacher or school staff member.
2. Talk about the importance of education with your children. Share your education experience and have them share their education hopes.
3. Learn something new about the schools in your zone. Talk with the school staff about what they do and how they're working to educate our children.
4. Volunteer your time. Share your expertise with students in the area!
5. Support educational activities and events in your area by attending and participating.

It's in our social media feeds...our friends are thankful and sharing their gratitude with the world. We may even be participating in this on-line demonstration of gratefulness ourselves. Are we sharing our gratitude with our kids? As our social communities focus on Days of Thanks, here are 

Five Ways to Help Our Kids Express Gratitude

1. Write a Thank You note to a neighbor. Talk about the neighbors who have demonstrated acts of kindness or friendliness to your child and help him/her write a thank you note - by hand. 
2. Perform a random act of kindness. After talking about the things that people have done for your child, encourage him/her to share kindness to someone who may not expect it.
3. Leave a treat for the mail carrier/newspaper delivery person. Encourage your child to leave a note or help make a treat to leave in the mail/paper box for the delivery person to thank him/her for being a constant servant to the public.
4. Share a hot beverage. There are many people who work outside this time of year to keep our electricity on, ensure the Red Kettle Campaign is running, etc. Join with your child in thanking them for braving the elements to make our world more comfortable by gifting them a hot chocolate or warm coffee.
5. Thank a Teacher. Our teachers sacrifice time with their own families and work tirelessly to ensure that every child receives the best quality education possible. Talk with your child about what you can do to honor his/her teacher (November 17-21 is Teacher Appreciation Week...here are some ideas on how to participate: http://www.nea.org/grants/teacherday.html).

Tomorrow is Election Day, which means many things for parents. Will we vote? Will we take our kids with us when we vote? How do we explain the election process we use here in the USA? Education World suggests these 

Five Books to help Share the Meaning of Participatory Government 

with our kids:

See How They Run, by Susan E. Goodman
Ages 9-12
This book takes election facts covering topics such as the electoral college, political parties and campaigning and presents them in an easy-to-understand, lighter format for kids without diluting the information.

Presidential Elections: And Other Cool Facts, by Sylvan A. Sobel, illustrated by Jill Wood
Ages 7-12
This brand-new book is informative and fun to read. Fascinating facts abound; the book, includes the birthplaces of all the presidents, the story of the presidential election that a major newspaper got wrong, and lots more.

The Ballot Box Battle, by Emily Arnold McCully
Ages 5-8
From Caldecott medalist Emily Arnold McCully comes the inspiring story of Cordelia, a young girl whose relationship with her neighbor, the great suffragist Elizabeth Cady Stanton, inspires her to a remarkable act of courage.

Robin Hill School: Election Day, by Margaret McNamera
Ages 4-8
It’s Election Day in Mrs. Connor’s class for a new class president. All of the candidates make big promises (gum ball machines, longer school vacations and more). Then, Mrs. Connor asks if anyone else would like to say something, looking right at new student Becky. Becky speaks, saying that she can’t guarantee any of the big promises of her competitors, but she will do her best. It’s a good early reader for talking about election promises.

Duck for President, by Doreen Cronin
Ages 4-8
This award-winning follow up to Click, Clack, Moo follows Duck from pond to farmer to governor to presidency. It’s great for early readers since it introduces elections in a very basic and fun way. 

Many of our children are also out of school on Election Day. Need ideas for activities? Try one of these 

Five Ways to Spend Election Day:

1. Volunteer. There are several organizations in our area that could use your help! 

2. The downtown library on Jefferson Street in Roanoke is hosting two performances of "The Pirate of Bully Bay" at 10:30 a.m. and 6 p.m. Tuesday. http://www.roanoke.com/life/columns_and_blogs/blogs/shoptimist/arrrrgggh-kids-out-on-election-day-pirate-of-bully-bay/article_fe6dc1be-6081-11e4-b928-001a4bcf6878.html

3. PBS Parents offers some fun ways to learn more about elections and the voting process. Spend some time exploring together: http://www.pbs.org/parents/special/election/

4. Visit Virginia Museum of Natural History. Rotating exhibits and activities mean that each visit is new and exciting. The museum is open from 9-5.

5. Relax together. Sometimes the best time spent together is unscripted. Enjoy a day together without rushing.

This week is Read Aloud to a Child Week in Virginia. Depending on the age of your child, this takes different forms in your house. The folks who run readtothem.org say "There is a large body of research that documents and explains the benefits of reading aloud to children. It may in fact be the most important activity that parents can share with children to help them become strong readers. Reading aloud builds a strong parent-child bond that can last a lifetime!"

This year's theme is perseverance - what a great talking point for us and our children!  “Steadfastness in doing something despite difficulty or delay in achieving success,” or perseverance, is something we can all share examples of from our lives. Think about books, articles, blogs, or posts that you can share with your child this week to emphasize the notion that

Continuous effort – not strength or intelligence – is the key to unlocking our potential.

Five books to consider sharing with your child this week to emphasize perseverance:

   

Parent - Teacher Conference Day is fast approaching. While the conference meeting is intended as an opportunity to discuss student growth and plan for teamed home-school support as the year progresses, many families experience mixed emotions regarding this event.   

Five Important Things 

to remember about how to make the conference appointment valuable for all involved:

1. Make a list. Have you had a question about something but not asked yet? Are there things you want to be sure the teacher knows? Making a list prior to the meeting will ensure that all important topics are covered and everyone feels that his/her voice was heard in the meeting.
2. Bring the student. Who better to comment on the needs and abilities of the student than the student? Having the student present also allows the parent(s) and teacher to emphasize the teamed support adults need to demonstrate for the student's success.
3. Listen...really listen. Since you have a list of the items you want to be sure to cover, really focus on what the teacher has to say about your student's progress so that you can work together to best support your child's success in the classroom. Taking the time to really hear what the teacher has to say will afford you the opportunity to work together effectively for the good of your student.
4. Take notes. Because a lot will be shared in a short amount of time, it's a good idea to take notes. The teacher or student may share information that needs additional thought or follow-up action. Be sure to jot down all you need to know so that you can effectively support your student after the conference meeting.
5. Debrief. Talk with your student about the meeting. Share what made you proud, any concerns you have, and how you plan to work with the teacher to support him/her as the school year progresses. Discuss how he/she felt during the meeting and how he/she plans to proceed in the class.

Peter and Paul Reynolds, twin brothers who run FableVision, operate with the focus of "dedicat[ion] to helping all learners discover their true potential." The brothers created a video, "Above and Beyond" and a corresponding book, "Going Places." Their work to encourage students provides parents with 

Five Important Points to Ponder

1. Look for Inspiration - The things that we enjoy on an everyday basis can often inspire us to create something in a new, innovative way. Find ways to incorporate "regular" items into a design you're working on.
2. Find Your Way to Success - Failure is not an end! Keep trying and make adjustments until it works.
3. Think Outside the Box - While instructions can be a helpful guide, some of the most creative innovations are generated by stepping away from the directions. If you can think of a different way to be successful, follow a different plan.
4. Be Proud of Being Different - Just because your creation doesn't look like everyone else's doesn't mean it isn't fantastic. Invest in your own ideas and stand behind them.
5. Create Bravely - Taking risks can be scary, but can often lead to exciting results. Be willing to take a chance and watch it pay off.